So September is PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) Awareness month. For those who are unfamiliar with what this is it is a hormonal disorder that causes ovaries to become enlarged and cysts to form on outer edges. It also is common cause for infertility in women. There is currently no cure and it is not really known what causes this to appear in some women and not others.
I like most women also went undiagnosed for many years. I started having symptoms in my late teens but didn’t discover I had it until my husband and I had been trying to conceive for 2 years. Most women experience abnormal or completely missed menstrual cycles, uncontrolled weight gain, and high testosterone levels that lead to unwanted hair growth on chest, neck and face.
I struggled with all of these things since the age of 17, and unfortunately my OBGYNs missed the signs as well. My husband and I started fertility treatments in late 2016 which let me tell you isn’t cheap. But, when you desperately want a child and you see the negative test over and over again it can tear apart your heart and soul and make you question yourself as a women. In mid 2017 we had to stop treatments because of my PCOS, I had a cyst the size of a plumb twist my right ovary and another one the size of a large cherry rupture and fill my abdomen with blood. I went to the ER from work in horrible pain and immediately after having a scan of my abdomen was rushed to surgery.
To tell you that was one of the scariest moments of my life is an understatement. I was told by the doctor I could possibly lose my ovary and or have to have a hysterectomy and when you want children as bad as we did that wasn’t what you wanted to hear before you had to be knocked out for surgery. Luckily I woke up and everything went well they didn’t have to remove anything and I recovered. My husband and I decided for both our mental health to take a step back and wait before trying again with treatment.
Later that year my mother in law had a major stroke that paralyzed her left side of her body. Her husband tried his best to take care of her but he was also up in age so unfortunately like most that suffer from a stroke she had a fall and suffered a hematoma in her brain with caused her to have to have surgery. During this time she kept telling me I was pregnant and I kept telling her I’m sorry I wasn’t. Which broke mine and my husband’s heart because we both knew she probably wasn’t going to be here much longer. Well come to find out she was right!
After all the hardships of trying to start a family I discovered at the age of 33 and by accident that I was in fact finally pregnant. The pregnancy was a blessing but also very sad because we feared every day she would pass before meeting her last grandchild (my husband was 41 and the youngest of 3 children and didn’t have any children). My son was due November of 2019, but came 6 weeks early, my mother in law was already on hospice by then and passed away 3 weeks after he was born she got to see him for 5 days and was lucid for 2 days, long enough to tell me I would have a girl and another boy like her before she passed away a few days before my 34th birthday.
I believe she is my children’s guardian angel, and yes I said children, when my son was 10 months old we found out I was pregnant with his sister who has my mother in laws first name as her middle name. Hopefully her predictions comes true once more in the future, but I want to encourage those struggling or who might be experiencing these symptoms to look into getting help and to not give up.
Who else says, “I’m fine?” 